45th Anniversary Party

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On August 2, 1980 Kate and I were married. In London, on the campus of the University of Western Ontario. This year marks our 45th anniversary. We had planned a celebration of on our 40th — we had a venue, guest list, music arranged, etc. when the COVID pandemic hit. So that party was cancelled.

This year we decided to have a bit of a party later in the month to celebrate with friends and family. The model would be a kitchen party, a Cèilidh, with some food, drink and some informal music. The pictures at left are a reminder of that event. I'll add some comments now and come back later to fill in a bit more.

The party was held on the afternoon of Sunday August 24 at the Riverwalk Commons here in St Marys. The Flour Mill catered the event and provided a server to help keep things organized. We got a liquor licence for a special event and provided the beer, wine and soft drinks. 

Our houseguests for the weekend were Alison (Maid of honour), Kate's brother, Gord (groomsman - Reg met Kate through Gord), and his wife, Leslie, from Ottawa, and our niece, Paula, from New Brunswick. They were amazing in helping to set up the venue in the morning: we moved tables around, made a memory table, put up some of our art pieces and photos. Our photo albums of the wedding, 20th and 25th anniversary parties seemed to interest many of our guests. One piece of art we hung and cherish was a wedding present painted by Barry Foster, a grad school/club colleague. The figures in the Egyptian styled painting include us and our cats at the time (Isis and Osiris). Unfortunately we've lost track of Barry. Wedding photos were taken by another colleague, Neil Farnsworth, who passed away in Hawaii several years ago. Photos from our 25th were by our No.1 son, Chris, and Paula was kind enough to take photos at this party (here's a camera, go nuts and take lots of pictures).

One thing we did not do was a slide show. The venue has a large screen and we were encouraged to show pictures. We both felt that would be too much like a funeral. And, people tend to get fixated on a TV. Instead we had a table of memorabilia: albums and clippings that Kate had prepared after past events.

Our friend Danny provided an anchor for the music. He was joined by Gord on bass and guitar, Rob on harp and guitar, Paul (our nephew) played along as well. Kate and I interrupted the music at several times to murder a ballad or three, with Kate playing her guitar. The picture above has Gord accompanying me on the Billy Joe Shaver song, "I couldn't be me without you". A simple song with heartfelt lyrics that I sang near the end of the event.

I couldn't be me without you
Together forever, where ever we are
I couldn't be me without you

We were thrilled that some of our friends and family from afar were able to celebrate with us. Joan (bridesmaid) and Ron drove from Belleville, Leo (classmate with Gord and Reg) and Glennice drove in from Peterborough area and visited with us the Saturday night. My best man, Mike, and his wife Jacquie, from Owen Sound, had hoped to come but were unable to attend — Mike is recovering from a fall where he broke both feet. Peter and Colleen, my workmates from Western University years, came down from Ottawa and stayed in the area for a few days taking in a few plays in Stratford. My brother,  David and wife, Gail, and their two daughters (our nieces), Bridget and Alison came from Hamilton area with their families (Bridget's husband, Jean Paul and son Quinton) and Alison's daughter, Kara. Another niece, Noelle, came from Toronto with her husband, Paul (who also joined in in the guitar playing), daughter, Grier and her partner, Lorne. Kate's nephew, Mark, and wife, Donna, came to the event from the Guelph area.  

We were pleased that some London friends came, including Andy (Western, Computer Science) and Patricia, Peter and his partner Angela. Sam (Kate's long-time colleague and friend from ARF/CAMH) and Albie made a special early return from holidays in the north just to be with us, and Sarah (CEO of the St. Marys library) and Joe made a special trip out from the city just to share this day with us.

We were also pleased to entertain friends from St Marys and area: Heather & Mark, Gary & Cathy, John & Joan, Gretchen, Jan & Bill, Jan, Tracey & Darrel, Janis & Doug, Jane & Bruce, Steve, Nancy, Sylvia & Rob, Ena & Dennis, Jenn &Tim, Dave, Roger & Barbara, Dorothy & Peter ... no doubt I've missed a few.

If you wander through the photos you'll get a sense of the party. It was intentionally an informal event — there were no fancy outfits and no speeches. There were over 60 guests who came over the several hours. It was quite busy there for a bit. We tried to greet everyone but were unable to have any lengthy conversations (e.g., it was only later in the week that we realized the Peter and Colleen were having their 20th wedding anniversary!). Danny kept the music coming with help from Rob and Gord. As mentioned, Kate and I interrupted a few times to sing some songs we had "rehearsed".

I love music but can barely carry a tune. We interrupted Danny and I opened with "Wilder Than Her", the Fred Eaglesmith tune I had sung for Kate at our 25th (Chris helped that time, Gord helped this time). Kate and Paula were laughing as I seemed to invent my own melody. Sorry about that!

Together we sang/butchered "Marilyn & Joe", the Kinky Friedman song. I recall singing this acapella at Peter and Colleen's wedding — they had no recollection of the event (nor does Kate). That would have been a good time to also recall that it was their anniversary coming up!

We sang/butchered "San Antone Rose" (Susanna Clark), and "In Spite of Ourselves" (John Prine). Fortunately Danny, who we had shared our song selections, led us on "45 Years From Now" (Stan Rogers). I closed with "I Couldn't Be Me Without You" (Billy Joe Shaver) and persuaded Gord and Leslie to do their version of "Once Every 100 Odd Years" (Silver Hearts). I wasn't able to persuade Paul and Lorne to play something (they're both able), or Sam, and we ought to have cornered Paula to play a tune or two. She does an excellent version of "Down Home Girl" by the Old Crow Medicine Show.

The party ended as planned around 4:00. We tidied up what had not been eaten (the caterer brought in a bunch of takeaway boxes -- they would have had to toss it all), we gave some away and took a lot home. We had seriously overestimated the drinks; probably by a factor of 10! I had opened a 5 litre Chianti (2017) and we had barely touched it. Back in our yard we closed the day eating leftovers and drinking up the Chianti with the gang staying with us and our neighbors Darrel and Tracey. We wouldn't want that wine to go bad, eh?

We are well stocked with food, drink and memories.

Gord and Leslie left on Monday morning dropping Paula off at Pearson Airport; Sam left on Tuesday flying out of London. Reg came down with a cold, he had been fighting it for a few days, and spent the day in bed.

It was a great day, a day to make memories. 

"It took me years, to get those souvenirs"