45th Anniversary Party

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On August 2, 1980 Kate and I were married. In London, on the campus of the University of Western Ontario. This year marks our 45th anniversary. We had planned a celebration of on our 40th — we had a venue, guest list, music arranged, etc. when the COVID pandemic hit. So that party was cancelled.

This year we decided to have a bit of a party later in the month to celebrate with friends and family. The model would be a kitchen party, a Cèilidh, with some food, drink and some informal music. The pictures at left are a reminder of that event. I'll add some comments now and come back later to fill in a bit more.

The party was held on the afternoon of Sunday August 24 at the Riverwalk Commons here in St Marys. The Flour Mill catered the event and provided a server to help keep things organized. We got a liquor licence for a special event and provided the beer, wine and soft drinks. 

Our houseguests for the weekend were Alison (Maid of honour), Kate's brother, Gord (groomsman - Reg met Kate through Gord), and his wife, Leslie, from Ottawa, and our niece, Paula, from New Brunswick. They were amazing in helping to set up the venue in the morning: we moved tables around, made a memory table, put up some of our art pieces and photos. Our photo albums of the wedding, 20th and 25th anniversary parties seemed to interest many of our guests. One piece of art we hung and cherish was a wedding present painted by Barry Foster, a grad school/club colleague. The figures in the Egyptian styled painting include us and our cats at the time (Isis and Osiris). Unfortunately we've lost track of Barry. Wedding photos were taken by another colleague, Neil Farnsworth, who passed away in Hawaii several years ago. Photos from our 25th were by our No.1 son, Chris, and Paula was kind enough to take photos at this party (here's a camera, go nuts and take lots of pictures).

One thing we did not do was a slide show. The venue has a large screen and we were encouraged to show pictures. We both felt that would be too much like a funeral. And, people tend to get fixated on a TV. Instead we had a table of memorabilia: albums and clippings that Kate had prepared after past events.

Our friend Danny provided an anchor for the music. He was joined by Gord on bass and guitar, Rob on harp and guitar, Paul (our nephew) played along as well. Kate and I interrupted the music at several times to murder a ballad or three, with Kate playing her guitar. The picture above has Gord accompanying me on the Billy Joe Shaver song, "I couldn't be me without you". A simple song with heartfelt lyrics that I sang near the end of the event.

I couldn't be me without you
Together forever, where ever we are
I couldn't be me without you

We were thrilled that some of our friends and family from afar were able to celebrate with us. Joan (bridesmaid) and Ron drove from Belleville, Leo (classmate with Gord and Reg) and Glennice drove in from Peterborough area and visited with us the Saturday night. My best man, Mike, and his wife Jacquie, from Owen Sound, had hoped to come but were unable to attend — Mike is recovering from a fall where he broke both feet. Peter and Colleen, my workmates from Western University years, came down from Ottawa and stayed in the area for a few days taking in a few plays in Stratford. My brother,  David and wife, Gail, and their two daughters (our nieces), Bridget and Alison came from Hamilton area with their families (Bridget's husband, Jean Paul and son Quinton) and Alison's daughter, Kara. Another niece, Noelle, came from Toronto with her husband, Paul (who also joined in in the guitar playing), daughter, Grier and her partner, Lorne. Kate's nephew, Mark, and wife, Donna, came to the event from the Guelph area.  

We were pleased that some London friends came, including Andy (Western, Computer Science) and Patricia, Peter and his partner Angela. Sam (Kate's long-time colleague and friend from ARF/CAMH) and Albie made a special early return from holidays in the north just to be with us, and Sarah (CEO of the St. Marys library) and Joe made a special trip out from the city just to share this day with us.

We were also pleased to entertain friends from St Marys and area: Heather & Mark, Gary & Cathy, John & Joan, Gretchen, Jan & Bill, Jan, Tracey & Darrel, Janis & Doug, Jane & Bruce, Steve, Nancy, Sylvia & Rob, Ena & Dennis, Jenn &Tim, Dave, Roger & Barbara, Dorothy & Peter ... no doubt I've missed a few.

If you wander through the photos you'll get a sense of the party. It was intentionally an informal event — there were no fancy outfits and no speeches. There were over 60 guests who came over the several hours. It was quite busy there for a bit. We tried to greet everyone but were unable to have any lengthy conversations (e.g., it was only later in the week that we realized the Peter and Colleen were having their 20th wedding anniversary!). Danny kept the music coming with help from Rob and Gord. As mentioned, Kate and I interrupted a few times to sing some songs we had "rehearsed".

I love music but can barely carry a tune. We interrupted Danny and I opened with "Wilder Than Her", the Fred Eaglesmith tune I had sung for Kate at our 25th (Chris helped that time, Gord helped this time). Kate and Paula were laughing as I seemed to invent my own melody. Sorry about that!

Together we sang/butchered "Marilyn & Joe", the Kinky Friedman song. I recall singing this acapella at Peter and Colleen's wedding — they had no recollection of the event (nor does Kate). That would have been a good time to also recall that it was their anniversary coming up!

We sang/butchered "San Antone Rose" (Susanna Clark), and "In Spite of Ourselves" (John Prine). Fortunately Danny, who we had shared our song selections, led us on "45 Years From Now" (Stan Rogers). I closed with "I Couldn't Be Me Without You" (Billy Joe Shaver) and persuaded Gord and Leslie to do their version of "Once Every 100 Odd Years" (Silver Hearts). I wasn't able to persuade Paul and Lorne to play something (they're both able), or Sam, and we ought to have cornered Paula to play a tune or two. She does an excellent version of "Down Home Girl" by the Old Crow Medicine Show.

The party ended as planned around 4:00. We tidied up what had not been eaten (the caterer brought in a bunch of takeaway boxes -- they would have had to toss it all), we gave some away and took a lot home. We had seriously overestimated the drinks; probably by a factor of 10! I had opened a 5 litre Chianti (2017) and we had barely touched it. Back in our yard we closed the day eating leftovers and drinking up the Chianti with the gang staying with us and our neighbors Darrel and Tracey. We wouldn't want that wine to go bad, eh?

We are well stocked with food, drink and memories.

Gord and Leslie left on Monday morning dropping Paula off at Pearson Airport; Sam left on Tuesday flying out of London. Reg came down with a cold, he had been fighting it for a few days, and spent the day in bed.

It was a great day, a day to make memories. 

"It took me years, to get those souvenirs"

45th Anniversary

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Saturday night, August 2, and the notorious '63 Monroe are playing at the Richmond Tavern in London with Limits of Approach. For those who might be keeping track, today is our 45th wedding anniversary, and we went to see '63 Monroe this night 45 years ago at the infamous Cedar Lounge (which, had it survived, was just a block away on the corner of King and Talbot). We had the band play for us at our 25th Anniversary and we simply must see them again tonight.

We're not long ball hitters anymore and worried that the band might not come on stage until midnight (bars are open to 2:00am these days). We're in communication with Peter, Markii and Scott. Scott tells us we're in luck as they're doing a first set at 9:00pm, followed by Limits of Approach, and then they do their last set close to midnight. So it's a go, we'll come and take in the first set.

We arrive in good time, I'm worried that the room might fill, but we get a good seat near the stage and have a parking spot right in front of the hotel. Peter visits with us for a bit and, as the band tunes up and does their sound check, we are centered out as the happy couple celebrating 45years who came to see them on their wedding night. They open with "At the Boot" which they dedicate to us. The Cedar Lounge was sometimes known as "The Boot".

It was a fun way to celebrate our anniversary. We ought to have stayed to the bitter end but would have paid dearly the next day. We met with several of the old gang (one of the pictures is by Olivia Rose Cairns — the daughter (sic!) of Debbie, a young friend from those days. She's off to Scotland shortly and we tell her a bit about our recent adventures in Glasgow.

Here's another summary. Kate writes to our friend Alison in Winnipeg (she was with us 45 years ago; Neil, our photographer has passed away):

It was great to see them (it was our 25th when they played for us). They did two sets with their first set at 9pm so we were able to see them and be home by 11! We didn't stay for the middle band although they were supposed to be pretty good. Pete got up before they started playing and pointed us out in the audience and talked about how we used to feed them and give them Reg's homemade beer (which was kind of him — I didn't think we fed them that often — but he was a kid — just 19 at the time). Scott even dedicated the first song to us ("At the boot"). I think they were quite chuffed to be reminded that we went to see them on our wedding night and that they are still playing 45 years later (to the day). They have done other shows but we felt that we had to go to this one. We've invited the three guys from the band that we know to our anniversary party.

The really sad thing for Reg was that he came home and immediately loaded the pictures onto his computer from his camera and as he was messing with them, he accidentally deleted them all. He spent hours trying to get the photos back but no luck. 

Most of the pictures in the photo album Kate took with her cell phone, some are cribbed from others (Amelia and Olivia) who posted on Facebook. I took a lot of pictures on my Canon t6i with a flash and I'm sure many would have been great. However, I managed to accidentally erase all them from my computer and could not recover any! Oh fur Dumb! I was up for hours trying to recover pictures from the memory card and from my computer to no avail. There's a moral here: don't erase memory card or computer copies until they are all safely in the cloud.

Kate asks if maybe I ought to have been shooting film?