Mom and Woking

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On Friday, May 30, we visit Mom² in nearby Woking for lunch and an afternoon visit. Jean is the mother of our friend Martin whom I met in grad school at Western (1977-78), but I always call her Mom. Not to disparage my mom, it's just that we have a very long and close relationship. I'd still rather call her Mom than Jean or Mrs Fry. 

Back in 1979 I visited with Martin on a month long biking trip in England. I stayed in Woking with him and his parents — that's when I first met Mom. Martin had taken his MA (Phil), returned to the UK/EU, and had invited me to visit (that's before Kate, see this blog entry). Martin and I have maintained a relationship ever since. 

We will be seeing Martin and Tina in Oppenheim and Martin's son Chris and his family in Dresden later on this trip. We fly out to Germany tomorrow, Saturday.

Any time we fly through Heathrow we try to visit Mom — she's 98 and still going strong but no one lasts forever. We have offered to take her out for lunch; however, the main objective is to have a visit, catch up and have a good chat. Actually she had offered to have us stay with her instead of at the Heathrow airport hotel!

An interesting aside:

We decided to rent a car for the day rather than Uber. There's an Alamo rental a short walk away from our hotel and, to get there, I cross the road from the hotel and wander through the parking lot of the Compass Centre where I take a picture of an interesting statue of Hercules holding the world on his shoulders (you can find the picture here on the Wikipedia page). A few minutes later, as I continue across the lot, I'm approached by an attendant. "What are you doing here?" I explain what I'm doing, where I'm staying and where I'm going. Not good enough, he calls in someone from security. Apparently I'm not supposed to be in this parking lot (I hadn't crossed any barriers or signs to forbid my entry). And according to these two I'm not supposed to be taking any pictures from within although they admit they can't stop me from taking pictures from outside. They insist that I delete the picture I had taken before I can proceed and even then they walk me off the lot. You've got to be kidding me!  WTF was that for?

The drive to Woking is nerve wracking. I wish we had taken an Uber — damn the cost! Actually although the car rental was fairly expensive I suspect Uber would have been even more .. but way less stressful. It's quite crowded around this part of the city and the route to Woking involves many twists, turns and lane changes through many crowded urban settings. Kate and Google Maps are helpful but this isn't any fun. However, we do make it safely to Woking and stop at a large downtown mall near Mum's place where we buy her some flowers and chocolates. She's quite appreciative and glad to see us. We settle right in.

Mum has laid out a lunch with some wine for us. No, we're not going out. We had jokingly offered to take her out for pizza — we hear Andrew likes thr Pizza Express in Woking and it's not too far away (cf. Epstein scandal). We enjoy our lunch together and have a long chat. There's a lovely attached sun room that looks over the garden. Hanging in the window is a crystal prism we gave her years ago.

Mom is still driving her car and does much better at navigating these narrow twisted routes than we! She's still in this her home of so many years (probably 65 or more). She's navigating the stairs to her bedroom on the second floor and tells us that's one of the reasons she's doing so well. It's the exercise of getting up and down those stairs. Whatever it is, she's in remarkably good health and seems as quick witted and smart as ever. Although she does tell us the story of a complicated telephone scam she recently fell for. To her defense, it was an elaborate and convincing scam.

There are some pictures in the album of the house from the large garden out back. She has help to take care of cutting the lawn, trimming the hedges, tending the garden and so on. It costs but Chuck has left her in good shape. Her one son Duncan lives reasonably nearby in London and is quite supportive. Martin is not so close at hand in Germany but they keep in touch and do what they can.

In sum, she's pretty amazing. We tell her we'll be back for her 100th birthday.

Ps. Confessions from the "Comma Queen" (Kate), my editor. She likes to write "mum" I like to write "mom". Google AI tells me:

"Mom" and "mum" are informal terms for mother, largely distinguished by region: "mom" is primarily used in the United States and Canada, while "mum" is standard in the UK, Australia, and New Zealand. Both are correct variations derived from "mamma," with "mum" often considered the older, more traditional spelling in British English. 

I'll leave it as written. 

Ealing

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Our overnight flight to Heathrow has us at our hotel late Thursday morning. Delays in Toronto had us abandon the original flight that would have had us arriving at 6:30 in the morning — we took the last overnight flight out that had seats for us in business class. That worked well. We get an early check in at the Hyatt Place London Heathrow Airport on Bath Road (we stay here at both ends of our trip), get settled in, catch a quick nap, get cleaned up and take an Uber into Ealing to see our nephew Darren, his wife Gail and their two children Chloe (8yrs) and Arthur (5yrs).

We are told Ealing is nearby. While it is in the west end of London towards the airport it's surprisingly far from the airport. The Uber takes about half an hour each way. This has us puzzling about tomorrow's visit to Woking; a rental car might work better.

Darren and Gail have been in London for 10 years or so. Both of their children were born here. Darren has an Irish passport, through his maternal grandfather, which made emigrating possible. Both are business graduates and working, I think, in the marketing side of things. Gail tells us about travelling on public transit (they're near the several Ealing Tube stations) to her work only to meet via Zoom with colleagues in Europe. During covid people worked from home, why not now? Darren seems to do more traveling for his job. They don't have a car; having one in the city would be a burden. Instead they walk, ride their bikes, and take the public transit (like the tube). They like living there in London, I suspect they'll be there for many more years.

They live in a rented row house. It has a lovely big back garden where they can grow things and the kids can safely play. They have some interesting toys, a houseful really, some are made at the daycare. Today the kids and I play with a "whirlygig" made with string and a bit of bone. I recall playing with one made with string and a button when I was a kid. Arthur and I are able to get it spinning; he'll get the hang of it in time. Another toy is a ring on a string attached to a stick; the aim is to you catch the ring on the stick. The kids have tried, without much luck, but Gail proudly did it — twice!

Nearby is St Mary's Church, Ealing. It's just a stone's throw away, a short walk, and an important community center. Darren and Gail are involved with the church as are the kids. Chloe did a reading at a recent service. We have a collage of her jumping in the old covered gate/entry to the church grounds.

Beside the church is the neighborhood pub, The Rose and Crown, where we have our dinner together. We knew about the pub from pictures Bridget had shared and were keen to go. There is an old song we love: The Old Rose and Crown (circa 1980), by Ian Robb of the Friends of Fiddlers Green. The song laments the changes that have happened to commercialize and destroy the comfort of neighborhood pubs. This is still a very nice neighborhood pub with good food, beers on tap, friends who gather, a garden space out back and events.

I enjoy "bangers and mash" dinner. That's authentic!